December 9, 2010

The Customer is NOT Always Right

This is a short one, but equally as ridiculous as the rest.

(It's 11:39pm and a younger gentleman strolls into my lobby wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, silk pajama pants and loafers. After frantically inquiring as to where the restroom is, racing off and then returning, the conversation goes as follows...)

Me- How can I help you sir?

(really awkwardly and without making eye contact...)
Guest- I just need a room for tonight.

Me- Okay well, I just need to see your drivers license and credit card and well getcha all set up.

(guest begins pulling his cards out of his wallet then still without looking at me he says...)
Guest- I feel like I know you. Your voice is so familiar.

(immediately realizing I've got a stage 5 creeper on my hands, I try to steer clear.)
Me: Oh.. Ha ha. I get that a lot. I must have one of those voices... :0/

Guest: No, I know I've heard it before... Keep talking, I'll figure it out.

(now I'm completely creeped out...)
Me: I sure can't imagine where you would've heard it (nervous laugh). Okay, I just need you to sign here and fill out this vehicle information for me.

(he starts filling out the info)
Guest- Your voice just sounds so familiar! Do you game online at all? OMG, Vixen753?!?!

Me- Err, no.

Guest- Oh, well, you sound just like her.

I wish I could have seen the look on my face. Of all the people in the world to sound like... I get Vixen753. Thats the story of my life. That's the story of Abby... Srsly.


  1. Sing along to the tune of Frosty the Snowman

    Abby the Vixen,
    Has a voice just like a fox
    She'll check you into your room
    Quick as a zoom
    And serve you OJ on the rocks...

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA (sorry, could not help myself) -Melodie

  2. hahahahahahahaHA!

    that's freaking hilarious. great story. i just love that this is really happened in real life lol. it's ridiculous. love your stories abby!

  3. I love Melodie's song! I think you should sing it every time a level 5 creeper comes in!

  4. I'm pretty sure you need to blog again soon.

  5. Kreepy as the whorizon, dear. Lemme fill-you-up withe avant-gardeness necessary to achieve Seventh-Heaven...

    Q: Can anyone tell me the difference between K2 and IQ? A: Nthn. In Seventh-Heaven, we gitt'm both for eternity HawrHawr Need a few more thots, ideers, raw wurdz or ironclad iconoclasms? Ta-da! Voila!!

    VERBUM SAT SAPIENTI: As an ex-writer of the sassy, savvy, schizophenia we all go through in this lifelong demise, I just wanna help U.S. git past the whorizontal more!ass! we're in (Latin: words to [the] wise)...

    "This finite existence is only a test, son," God Almighty told me in my coma. "Far beyond thy earthly tempest is where you'll find tangible, corpulent eloquence" (paraphrased). Lemme tella youse without d'New Joisey accent...

    I actually saw Seventh-Heaven when we died: you couldn't GET any moe curly, party-hardy-endorphins, blatant, extravagantly-surplus-lush Upstairs when my beautifull, brilliant, bombastic girly-girl passed-away due to those wry, sardonic satires.

    "Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the Heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightousness as bright as stars for all eternity" -Daniel 12:3

    Here's also what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' -the Infant Jesus of Prague.

    Go git'm, girl. You're incredible. See you Upstairs. I won't be joining'm in the nasty Abyss where Isis prowls
    PS Need summore unique, uncivilized, useless names? Lemme gonna gitcha started, brudda:

    Oak Woods, Franky Sparks, Athena Noble, Autumn Rose, Faith Bishop, Dolly Martin, Willow Rhodes, Cocoa Major, Roman Stone, Bullwark Burnhart, Magnus Wilde, Kardiak Arrest, Will Wright, Goldy Silvers, Penelope Summers, Sophie Sharp, Violet Snow, Lizzy Roach, BoxxaRoxx, Aunty Dotey, Romero Stark, Zacharia Neptoon, Mercurio Morrissey, Fritz & Felix Franz, Victor Payne, Isabella Silverstein, Mercedes Kennedy, Redding Rust, Phoenix Martini, Ivy Squire, Sauer Wolfe, Yankee Cooky, -blessed b9...

    God blessa youse
    -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL