May 31, 2010

Structual Integrity

So, I'm kind of in a weird time in my life right now.  I'm dealing with heavy transition.  I just recently moved to Tulsa (part time for the time being), I am working my last few weeks at my job, I'm in the process of church hunting and as always, I'm on the lookout for a Jesus-loving man. Just being honest.

But here's the sitch...  My car is kind of a piece of junk.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very blessed and I feel very fortunate to be in the top 4% of people in the world who are wealthy enough to own their own transportation.  But the truth remains, my car is falling apart.  And being that I am too poor to take it to the shop for repairs, I am constantly reinforcing the Elmer's Glue and duct tape that are currently holding "Old Reliable" together.   I've had my Chevy Blazer for not even 3 years yet but he had a good 11 years on him before I came to be proud owner.  So, needless to say, I think he's on his last few miles.

I have many friends from college that live in Northeastern Oklahoma and being that I am from Enid, I didn't used to see them very often.  But, every chance I could, I would drive my Blazer over to Tulsa and visit them. I quickly realized that my car was not made for the open road.  For some reason the drivers side door is slightly bent.  I mean, it will shut and lock like normal but its still a bit wonky.  I found this information out on my first trip over to Tulsa.  When I was driving on the highway, not going a single mile over the state government posted speed limit, I felt and heard this strong rush of air billowing through the top of the drivers side door.  It sounded like a tornado was wailing through my car!  I'm just going to be honest, it scared the ever living out of me! I nearly pulled over onto the shoulder but I realized what it was just before.  

Now, this concerns me for two reasons. First, it means my door is all but "off its hinges", and secondly, its so loud.  I mean, not only do I have to deal with the loonies constantly occupying US412, but now I have to fight the gale force winds whipping through and busting my eardrums.  Its ridiculous.  

So, like I mentioned earlier, instead of taking it to the shop to fix, me and my frugal self, came up with a better way to resolve this issue... Insulation foam strips.  Brilliant, I know.  For those of you who don't know about insulation foam strips, they looks like this:

So, I bought this stuff and stuck it on the inside of the drivers side door on my car.  I'm not gonna lie, I felt very smart, like I had cheated the ungodly expensive institution of "auto repair shops".  And after fixing up my car, and giving myself a well-deserved pat on the back, I was feeling quite confident that my plan would be successful.  And guess what? It was! I have journey across the great state of Oklahoma numerous times without further damage to my hearing, or my wonky car door.  

So, with that in mind, you guys must be asking, "Abby, where's the ridiculousness in that?  Wheres the funny?"  Well, brace yourselves my friends, its coming.

Like I said at the very beginning of this blog, I'm living in Tulsa part time right now and the other half is spent in Enid finishing up on an event I'm helping to plan for my job there.  So, I am indeed commuting a lot.  I had driven back in forth 3 times before I noticed the disgusting number of bugs splattered across the front end of my car.  And really the only reason I became aware of it is because I suddenly noticed that my vision was becoming slightly impaired as I drove around town.  Yeah, it was that bad.  So, I made the committed decision to wash my car really well before my next journey.  

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I despise summer.  I hate it.  There is no reason that, if I am sitting and doing nothing, I should be sweating.  I am 100% sure that is not God's will for my life.  So, with that in mind you can imagine how long it took me to decide to drive through the automatic car wash instead of actually getting out in the heat and exerting any physical strength myself.  Yeah, about 8 seconds.

I had never driven through an automatic car washer before.  I sort of have this irrational fear of getting stuck in there.  But it was worth the risk this day.  So, I bought my little ticket and drove right into the "Wash Hut".  I parked my car directly in the center, stopping when the outrageously huge "STOP NOW" sign lit up like it was on the Vegas Strip.  I turned my car off and sat patiently... and nervously. 

But you know what?  It wasn't that bad!  In fact, it was kinda fun... until the monsoon hit!  Yep, you heard me right.  As soon as the sprayers hit the top of my car, a torrential rainstorm INSIDE my car, followed immediately behind.  All along the entire length of the top of my drivers side door, water was poring in.  And I'm not talking like a few drips here and there... I'm saying a constant stream of poring water falling all down my door, onto my lap, all over my shirt... EVERYWHERE.  

Now, whats a girl to do?  I can't drive forwards or backward.  I was helpless, sitting there, cold, wet and alone.  And here's the best part.  I didn't just buy the normal quick wash.  I bought the premier deluxe wash-rinse-wash-rinse-scrub-rinse-wax wash.  So, I had to sit there as the sprayers did their thing SEVEN times.  Seven... times.  

Apparently it is too much to ask the gods of convenience for a car that blocks out wind AND water.  My little stunt with the insulation foam had seemingly weakened the structural integrity of the remainder of my door.  Thus, allowing for the front seat waterfall to take place.  That can't have happened to anyone else before. That is the story of my life... That is the Story of Abby.


  1. Abby, that story is another great one! I almost wet my pants because I could totally visualize the entire thing! However, I must point out that because we seem to share a gene of some sort, I too, have fixed a car door with weather stripping. In fact, my step dad literally used expand-a-foam and foamed a back car door shut at one point! LOL It's still a running joke in our family to run and get the foam can if you can feel a breeze! :-)

  2. As soon as you said "car wash" I knew what was coming simply because it is your life.

  3. abby! wow i don't even know. you've got some great luck hahahaha